My jokes collection

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first,
Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.


Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari,
mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kiun,
kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thi


A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love U sister....


Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se
shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karahe hai.
Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kon kon hai.
Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...


Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to
you...... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,
I"ll marry you NEXT YEAR.


Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.


Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever


Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever


Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..


Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?
It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 -
the fight begins !

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other.


2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!


Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are.


Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI,
KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY",
MANANA PADTA HAI.


Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m.
Tcher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.


can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out,
i know you have it, i wil return it .
a sardar asks to ATM machine.


dolhan sardar say......aag mojhay itna khush karo k
main sari zindgi yaad rakhoon
sardar saari raat gud gudi karta raha


once a sardar bought a banaspatee teen
and say to the shopkeeper where is my gift ?
shopkeeper said why?
sardar said there is written colestrol free.


why did sardar cut the sides of medicine before eating it ?
think think think to avoid sde EFFECTS.


sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil main hoon meri bivi
mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay .....
friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay,
doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,
who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him,
O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj
rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan,
sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa


Once sardar wanted to know the time difference between
Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department
and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between
Patna and Las Begas..." The man at the other end replies
"One second sir..." and sardar immediately replies "thank you"
and puts the phone down.


Sardar ji tuwannu kaddi kisay naal pyar nai hoya?
yar hoya tay hai lekin O mandi hi nai
bus ena kendi ae "I LOVE U"
pata nai ullu da patha "U" kon hai


Doctor: Kya taklif hai? Petient: Sote waqt SAAS ko lene
me taqlif hoti hai. Doc:
Aaj se dus din sote vaqt SAAS ko nahi SAALI ko lo !


Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.


PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh
first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd
time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu


MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath
saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha


MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise
nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise
bol pada?


One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our
Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure,
Give me ur Telephone No


A couple wanted khatna(Circumcision)of their son,
but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,
Husband: please slow down the speed of car. Wife: No ;
please. No; please No please No pls.. Husband: the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of exident;
Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...


Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write
for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long


In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n
sell@15.25, it"s loss or profit? student: Profit in rupees
& loss in paise


An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer asks the
girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki
income aur doosre inke din kum.


A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio
to u. MAN: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says
This is all Radio PAKISTAN!


Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should
talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?


what"s common between the SUN & WOMEN"S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............


Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn"t the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer


After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn"t notice"


Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur
subha chali jaye

Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the
worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there


A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon
ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha
aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".


Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon
sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai
wardi utaro


75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old.
At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don"t know
anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.


girl"s father: mai nahi chaahta meri beti

apni saari zindagi aik gadhey ke saath guzaar de


boy friend: bas isi liye mai usai yaha se le jaane aaya hoon


Aik Sardar Ne Market mein AIk Khoobsurat Larki Dekhi
Aur Sochne Laga...

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Kaash!! ye Meri Maa Hoti to mein bhi Itna hi Khoobsurat hota..


Husband:wht will u do if i die?
Wife:live wid ma sister.
Wife:wht will ya do if i die?
Husband:I will also live wid urz sister..


7 peer 7 Chatai par Dhyaan Lagakar Baithe thay.

Ek Aadmi aata hai aur Sabse Buzrug peer ko salam kar k
poochta hai ...?
Peer sahab Larki nahi Pat Rahi hai.. kya Karu...??

Woh peer Sabse chotey Peer ko Awaz Laga Kar Kehta hai...

Scroll Down…..

" Chotu Ek aur Chatai Laga de Beta. ... "


Sardar Got an Invitation To a party
Which Said "RED TIE ONLY"
When he went to the Party,
He was Surprised to find that others
were wearing Pents & Shirts ALso...


A man had a Big "JIN"

One Day the Jin Asked him "Mere AQa! Koi Hukam Dein??"
The Man Thought for a WhiLe n Said "Ok u make a road for me
from my home 2 America"
Jin said "Mere AQa this is nearly impossible, as huge Jungles,
Mountains n sea come across the way"

The man said "Ok meri Biwi ko mera Buhat Hi Tabey Aur
Farmanbardar Bana do"


Jin Foran BoLa "AQa Road Single banani hai Ya Double.." ??

IN press conference a reporter asks inzamam
"wht r u feeling after woolmer"s death ?
inzi replies "first of all thnx to ALLAH & credit goes to BOYZ


Once a Rich Man asked a Poor Man:
"Shaadi mai MehnaT hai Ya MAza?"

Poor Man Replied: "Sahab Zaruur MAza hee Hoga..
Mehnat Hoti tu aap Wo bhi Humse hee Kurwatay


A Memon saves life of an Arab by his rare blood group.
Arab rewards him with a mercedez.
Few days later arab again needed the blood,
Memon donates again.
Arab sent him "Till ke Laddoo",
Memon asked "why not new mercedes?"
Arab replied : "ab marey ander memon ka khoon gardish ker raha
hai"


Rabri: Ka Karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhaar likhna to aawey nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to parhna nahi jaanat..


Rabri: Ka Karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhaar likhna to aawey nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to parhna nahi jaanat..


Patient: Mjhe bemari hai. Na khaoon tu bhook lagti hai,
Na soo tu Neend aati hai, Ziada kaam kr k thak jaata hoon.

Doctor: Saari Raat Dhoop mai betho Theek hojaogay.


A Good Friend comes 2 visit u in the hospital wid flowers n goes.
A True friend Sits near u n says: O Yaar! nurse bahut solid hai...
aaram se theek hona!

ThATs A NiCe SeLEcTiOn BrO...KeEp ItUP